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Feb. 6th, 2009 | 11:52 pm

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I don't care who you are, if you're racist, I. Will. Fight. You.

Dec. 3rd, 2008 | 04:36 pm


I havent posted here in forever. FOREVER EVER.

Yeah, so if you didnt know, the economy is in the SHITTER. Thus i dont have a job. Thus i have lots of bills and no monies.

BUT HEY, DIRTY, Ive been treking on.

I got a job lifeguarding at ZE TRUMP INTERNATINOL TOWER AND HOETL. Which is....GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. Fuck these rich scum BAGS, BAGS OF SCUM. It such bullshit. Ive seen a few people, but as you can guess, they are just NORMAL PEOPLE. Not even worth mentioning. Ugh ugh them. Ive seeeeeen, Denis Rodman, Ivanka Trump, Adam Carolla, and those are just the famous ones. obviously everyone there is SUPER RICH and SUPER ANNOYING, cause they think they are SUPER IMPORTANT, and feel i should feel that way too. BUT I DONT. That is all i really have to say about that.

In other NEWS i just finished GETTING AN EMT JOB. YAY ME. I start training on MONDAY. HUZZA. I know im going to have fun. Recently Ive gotten into this Deco Den stuff, and omg the sparkles are expoloding from everywhere.

My phone and keyboard have caught this girly disease. I love it.

That is all for now.

I hope Christmas is totally runined by my broke nature.

BUT HEY. I turn 21 next year. SO SIKED.

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Dude, I'm not gonna' lie, it felt kind of good. Like a tickling, tingling sensation.

Sep. 6th, 2008 | 01:53 am

There is a spy amongst us.

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(no subject)

Jun. 7th, 2008 | 09:46 pm

I havent felt like writting.

But i have felt like sharing some pics.

And the thanks the lords Toily got me a camera.

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May. 10th, 2008 | 06:13 am

So, I went with Toily to see Speed Racer in the IMAX. And it was great.


All toliy would say was, I have a surprise for you.

So we get to the theater and I'm like, what are we seeing? And he says, You'll see.

So, as u can imagine I'm so excited to know, I'm like what what what what is it!?

And he says "yo, are you bullshitting me, you really have no idea?" And I'm just like. "Seriously. None." I really truely didn't. I had forgotten that movie was coming out. So, he says "do you realise for the maybe 500 ppl here, ur prob the only one who doesn't know what's going on?" And I'm just like, isn't it awesome!?!

So when it all started I was joyus!! I yay'd, clapped, squeed with delight and it was a pretty decent movie.

Lots of shinny stuff, awesome races, funny fights, all around decent movie. It felt like I was watching a live action anime so I loved it tons. Toliy was sort of enthused. Oh well, good times were had. I'm hella sleepy.

I just wanted to share my awsome surprise. :)

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(no subject)

Mar. 28th, 2008 | 09:58 am


I'm sitting in airport. Leaving for FL. Truely exciting. Only gonna be there for two days, but all is good.

I'm ready.

Things...feel better between me and Tolushka.
I feel closer to him?

Me = happy.

He misses me. I feel like he loves me, but hasn't said it yet. And I'm nervous about that. I'm not ready. But now I feel like I will be!

Chenny way. Fl = exciting!

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The MTA doesn't go there, and we all know that if the MTA doesn't go there, neither should you.

Mar. 26th, 2008 | 12:38 am

I dunno man.

Things are...weird. Im being so fake with toliy... I wanna be close to him, but its like, i dont.

Im such a bitch.

Whatever. Im going to FL on friday.

Gonna chill. booze. And tan.

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Fuck, if she got pregnant, I would tear that baby out with a fork!

Mar. 9th, 2008 | 05:09 pm

I got something nice today....

open and you shall get...Collapse )
Thats been the high light of my day.

I stayed home cuz ive felt like crap for about three or four weeks recently. And i havent gotten the any days to lay down and feel better. So, i skipped EMT class (i know, i feel like crap about it, but i feel physically more like crap.

I also have tons of readings to catch up on. So today is pretty much almost over and im still tired as hell. Read some philosophy and working on emt crap now...

I cant wait for may. Im dead tired and i need this to be over.

Peter made me said something very mean last night...and he knows i dont mean it. But, i know by saying it ive helped him. Is it right? Do i tell him, specifically that i didnt mean it? But by doing so i make him feel like crap again...

Ive already stuck to my guns...and ive said things so i can be played up as the bad guy and trashed about. And im not sure if i should stop it.

I supposed I should be preceived as the cold hard bitch, talked about, torn down because im not there...I know the things he might be saying about me he'd never say other wise.

He knows im none of those things...but yet. It makes him feel better. So, again. Is this right?

I love and care for him.
But. Im different now.

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(no subject)

Mar. 5th, 2008 | 09:31 pm

I'm ready to move now.

I've never wanted to live here in the towers. And 24,000 dollars later, I really wish I didn't.
I feel as though my parents wasted so much money. And its not like I asked them to do it. I begged them to let me live somewhere else...some place cheaper, some place where I could be alone...I don't get why they don't see I'm not like my sisters.

I have an urge to be alone. I'm much more responsible than them...I would like to be rewarded for the things I do, but I feel like I'm being punished.

I want to finish school. But instead I'm being put to work, and being told to do it myself. So I am. But...I just wish my family gave me the same options they gave my sisters. I wish they could see my gratitude towards them...

But. I feel so neglected. So, I in turn neglect them. Its a vicious cycle.

Sigh. August. And life will be better.

I swear.

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Them Jews got it goin' on!

Mar. 1st, 2008 | 09:57 pm

Why is that....all my friends dont have father figures?

And that they just so happen to lack disapline?


Peter doesnt know his dad.
Keyre would never want to see her dad (understandable.)
Anatoliys dad is moving out of his house and into the house of his "other family."

I feel so bad for...all of them.

I guess i sort of know how it feels for my dad to not be there for important moments. But i know my dad tried. And the reason he wasnt there was better for me and my family.

But for him to not be there at all. Ever. I think...id be so heart broken.

I have so much sympathy for Toliy, Keyre, and Peter.
I know how much they all wish their fathers to be there...

That kinda put a damper on my night.

But last night was fun.

I went to Pacha with Oleg. Ended up meet Toliy there, and took him home with me.

We took a cab together.
I really like Toliy.
He takes care of me.
And i know he likes me.
Because i insist on taking care of him.

Im kinda of afraid to get to close to him.
Because...it doesnt feel right. With Peter so near by.
But. Things between me and Peter....dont seem like they can be fixed.

He is doing things i never thought hed do...

But. I feel...unhappy about it.
he's trying to be what I wanted him to be. Not what he wants to be.

We'll see.

Ps...im so ready for my emt course to be over...

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